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As parents—and really as people—the holiday season can stir up a mix of emotions. On one hand, it’s a time filled with cozy, nostalgic moments: the smell of cloves, cheerful songs, and time with loved ones. On the other hand, it can bring a wave of overwhelm: stores glittering with lights, endless to-do lists, and sensory overload. It’s okay to feel both the stress and the joy of this time of year. With a bit of preparation, you can help create an environment where your neurodivergent child (and the whole family) can thrive and truly enjoy the season. Here are some strategies to guide you through.
1. Talk to Your Child About Potential Triggers
Before the holiday festivities ramp up, have an open conversation with your child about their sensory preferences and triggers. What sights, sounds, smells, or textures feel too intense for them? Knowing these details can help you make small adjustments that make a big difference.
Minimize or remove certain stimuli that are overwhelming. For example, if the scent of pine is bothersome, use unscented decorations.
Pack sensory tools for travel or visits to other homes. Items like weighted blankets, fidget toys, or noise-canceling headphones can make an unfamiliar space more comfortable.
Include sensory-friendly items in your home, such as soft lighting or soothing textures.
2. Limit Stimuli in Living Spaces
Decorating for the holidays is a beloved tradition, but too much sensory input can be overwhelming for a neurodivergent child. Strike a balance by keeping holiday decorations, lights, and scents in common areas, while leaving sleeping spaces and bathrooms as calming, neutral zones.
Consider gradual decorating so your child has time to adapt and share their feedback.
Refer back to your child’s specific sensory preferences and choose decorations that accommodate them. For example, opt for twinkle lights instead of blinking ones if flashing lights are a trigger.
3. Establish Regular Breaks
The holidays often come with non-stop activities. Help your child manage sensory overload by scheduling regular breaks into their day.
Create daily downtime in a low-stimulus space where your child can unwind. This might mean quiet time alone, engaging in a special interest, or participating in a calm activity.
For younger children, these breaks can be built around nap or quiet time. For older kids or teens, encourage them to take self-care moments to process and recharge.
As a neurodivergent adult, I can share firsthand how valuable these breaks are. I need moments to step away from holiday crowds, lights, and sounds so I can regulate my sensory and emotional needs. Every child is different, so listen to your child’s cues and build in the time they need.
4. Maintain Structure Where Possible
The holidays often disrupt our usual routines, but creating structure whenever possible is key for neurodivergent children. Predictability can reduce anxiety and help kids feel secure.
Use visual aids like a calendar or schedule to show upcoming activities. This helps your child mentally prepare for the day’s events and process any changes.
Communicate plans early and in detail so that your child knows what to expect and can feel more at ease.
5. Prepare Extended Family
You are your child’s first advocate, especially when it comes to communicating their needs. Before any gatherings, share information with family members about your child’s preferences and sensory needs.
Establish a plan with extended family members so everyone knows what supports are in place. This helps avoid surprises and ensures your child has a positive experience.
Set clear expectations for what helps your child feel safe and included, such as having a quiet room available or limiting strong scents.
6. Take Time for Yourself
As parents, the desire to create a perfect holiday experience can become overwhelming. Remember that taking care of yourself is essential. Prioritizing your own self-care not only helps you recharge but also models the importance of self-compassion for your child.
Give yourself grace. It’s okay if things don’t go as planned; what matters most is showing up with love and patience.
Find moments to unwind, whether it’s sipping a warm drink after bedtime or sneaking in a quiet walk. This time helps you reset and be the steady support your child needs.
In Summary
Navigating the holiday season can feel like a delicate dance of balancing joy and overstimulation. By talking with your child, making mindful adjustments in your space, and building in routines and breaks, you can create a more inclusive, enjoyable holiday experience for everyone. Remember to take a breath, embrace the little moments, and know that you’re doing an incredible job.